Thursday Nights

we played on the rooftops
we played in the street
we found each other
where many others meet

i love your perfect face
your eyes, and smile
i love your attitude
your space your style

did you really like it?
“maybe you should marry it.”

i wish that i could hold it
cherish it and more
but i could hardly carry it
out to the unmarked spot
where im supposed to bury it
where i’ve been many times before

and it feels like nothing
angel bless us
never learned how to hold something
so so precious

You are my monster

The grass is maybe green
The sky is part way blue
The days are just too bright
The birds are singing, too

You are my monster
That’s lurking in the darkness for me
You are my monster
That’s waiting there for me

The air has no allure
The sunlight chastens me
As you drag around your cage
You’re on the loose. You’re free

You are my monster
That’s lurking in the dark for me
You are my monster
That’s waiting there for me

I wear and walk the miles
To when life becomes worthwhile
It might take many years
To forget your evil smile

You are my monster
Looming in my garden green
You are my monster
That’s stalking there for me

When your happy times have passed
And snow begins to fall
Don’t stay away too long
Don’t forget to call

You are my monster
That sniffs the air for me
You are my monster
Forever there for me

You Lost Me in November

Loathing found me in November
When to my fate I was resigned
Oh how badly I remember
All the pain that you designed

Leaves were falling all around us
Flowers dripping from your gown
Hate found me in November
When all our love turned brown

The only thing that I have left now
Is this little card I’ve found
Ruined by some awful drivel
That was written by your hand

As I stood there by my bedside
As I looked into your eyes
You lost me that November
Through the malice you designed

There’s a heart tonight that’s heavy
There’s a heart tonight that’s glad
For demons took you from me
The worst friend I ever had

You’ve gone to rot in southern hell
Devil stole your heart and mind
But you lost me in November
Through the malice you designed

The Hands of Leroy

At least ten thousand hours must have passed during the moments wherein Leroy’s eyes, glazing, caressed barred moonlight shining through his cellar door, waiting for nothing.

Lurching through the dirt, Leroy dragged on a raincoat and drifted to the wall where repeated memories pinned bleached white linens on lines, sagging in the shadows.

With rigid hands, the pins were released from the ceiling, through which steady lamp rays glared down on him.

Leroy, with a sigh, cast into the basket the efforts of this day and crawled upon the staircase, as high as he should go. Quietly, he crossed himself, looked sidelong down the hall, and once again descended to that low, dark place of his – that sunken hole where headlights were his daydreams, self-awareness, longtime friends who came to visit, and curious observers who, meandering, scanned across each tickmark, scratched upon the wall.

There, alone is where he paced until a shrieking bade his call. Fighting tears of agony, Leroy called up to the voice:

“Yes, mother?”

“The stains are out, but did you wear your raincoat?” she demanded lightheartedly.

“Yes, but I–”

“You will clean them again,” ordered the unforgiving voice. “And I should hope Father returns home quite unaware of this.”

Leroy’s hot heart fumbled for a tempo when his hands began to sweat. Headlights on the staircase! Happens once a day!

With pocketed mittens grasping through his jacket all the sheets he could, stumbling through the darkness, tripping through old mud, Leroy threw up his bare hands to catch hold of loose wood. In a panic, he saw black scratch marks ripping through the light. The sheets! Filthy from his Germs.

No dinner was served, no laughter heard, not even the sound of stomping – the stomping of goodnight. Just a boiler’s timely click, and two orange flames flickering on like the toxic, dead white eyes of delusion: A wall with a mouth hole for a bed, where Leroy found solace from the harsh staring of the blank rock walls that stood tall all around him. And before crawling into the maw, the hand of Leroy etched, with split and bleeding knuckles, another tired line into the stony face of his crumbling friend, his cracking smile.

Car Show

Cadillacs of the 1950s
Glinting in the Cherokee
Sun, arranged in rows
A stabbing revelry

Americana, what we are
A memory spoke in Southern drawl
During a trot along
The Trail of Tears.

Colorful figures,
All around the mountain square,
Jangled in their meaningless
Headdress and fascist tribal flare.

She’s a beauty ain’t
She? asked a farmer
Of about 67 and
Three months.

I reckon to say she is,
Replied some onlooker,
Paid ten dollars
Just to see her.

On a streetcorner
Just down the hill:
Bronzed in black fishnets
Stood a mother, 17.

TV Guide

Blackjack, panic attack,
Chrome dreams and steel.

Three Stoned White Guys, Cops,
Hot on Their Heels.

An actress on crack
Is winning – is losing,
Is dead on her back.

A library in each head,
One feeds his disease:

Latex miracle Fear machine,
Absolute power that gleams!

A slack silver-lined serpent
Writhes in the sky.

The Black Magnus unrolls,
Roils and unwinds,

Planting landlines,
Serenades.

Twisting and coiling
Like some new galaxy,

The great heroin beast-
What’s next on TV?

The “Space Race” 80s and 90s

I was once an empty flagon of liquid hope;
Nothing has changed.

I used to want to be an astronaut
But hated to limit myself.

I learned how to write on a sheet of cardboard
On the shag carpeting of a trailer because
I was “not like them.”

And I have always been a shit writer
Pretending like he isn’t.

Though perfectly accustomed to it,
I am by no means afraid of failure.

The probability of intelligent life
In our galaxy is so small,
It probably exists,
Somewhere else.

Hate is a more realistic word for
Love.

There is no membrane,
The atmosphere is thinning
With my hair and I’m only
Twenty fucking five.

I am the Cold War.

By that I mean some part of me
Is truly American
And the rest wants peace.

College makes me dumb,
Or I was never smart.

People are a source of misery
Because they make me so happy.

This is nothing new,
It won’t make the frontpages
Or anything.

At least, it shouldn’t,
Because space
Is for real
Celebrities and life
Is about learning
To pretend.

Mad Man’s Hate Song

I shut my eyes and drink the rain;
Thinking madly about our children, fat, yet underfed.
(For endless corporate capital gain.)

Yellow fields of swaying grain
Fuel delusions, concealing dread:
I shut my eyes and drink the rain.

I watched my life go down the drain
And regaled stifled dreams so overripe, so dead on fire.
(For endless corporate capital gain.)

Factories wheeze and workers strike, hacks retire:
We vote for him, more lies, more sin:
I shut my eyes and drink the rain.

I hoped it would end but fear remained,
Until one day there was only noise.
(For endless corporate capital gain.)

I took it upon myself to go insane;
At least this way I fit right in.
I shut my eyes and drink the rain.
(For endless corporate capital gain.)